We make about 35,000 decisions per day. Are you making decisions out of love or fear? Our underlying mindset when making decisions is crucial, as it impacts our leadership at work and home, as well as the lives of those we lead.
We are wired for survival. Our natural inclination is to avoid pain. Fear-based decisions are intended to keep us out of pain, avoid being taken advantage of, reduce risk and protect us.
Fear-based decisions are restrictive. Decisions made out of fear limit opportunities and possibilities. Fear-based decisions protect us in the moment while limiting what’s possible.
My colleague Rob Dube writes about the impact of making decisions out of love versus fear in the book “Shine,” co-authored with Gino Wickman. His epiphany about the mindset guiding his decisions is profound.
Rob shares that fear-based decisions are ego-driven. These decisions cause us to cling to, avoid, control and possibly even self-destruct. Fear-based thinking leads to stress, rumination and conflict in our relationships.
What are you trying to avoid? Likely, your list is long.
In contrast, what are you trying to create?
Creating is an act of love. When we create, we have the opportunity to align our decisions with our vision and our core values. Decisions made out of love are associated with abundance, opportunity and fostering trust.
Consider this scenario: Joe is requesting to leave early to coach his son’s football game. The parent who usually coaches the team cannot do so today. Joe has worked for you for about six months. He exceeds expectations and has not missed work.
You have two team members repeatedly calling in sick, and scheduling has been chaotic in recent weeks. You’re frustrated. You are concerned that honoring Joe’s request sends a poor message to the rest of the team, especially following recent discussions about the difficulty with scheduling when team members do not show up for work.
Out of fear of setting a poor example, you decline Joe’s request. Joe becomes frustrated as he has repeatedly stepped up when other team members have not honored their work commitment. Over time, Joe observes one of his team members taking advantage of the time-off policy, and he loses his enthusiasm for being a part of your team.
What’s possible when you approach this decision out of love? You acknowledge Joe’s desire to support his son’s team. Joe volunteered to work overtime when the other team members called in sick. You acknowledge this for Joe, and he feels proud to be a part of your team. You ask for Joe’s ideas on how to manage the scheduling challenge. Joe offers a creative solution, which he implements with your approval. Joe feels respected by you. He brings more ideas into his one-on-one meetings with you. Your business is strengthened by Joe’s contributions.
As you make your next decision, ask yourself, “What’s possible when I choose love in this situation?”
This article originally appeared in Arkansas Business and is part of a series of small business commentaries by Sabrina Starling, Ph.D., bestselling author of “How to Hire the Best” and “The 4 Week Vacation,” keynote speaker, founder of tapthepotential.com and host of the “Profit by Design” podcast.
